The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction by Larry YoungHow much control do we have over love? Much less than we like to think. All that mystery, all that poetry, all those complex behaviors surrounding human bonding leading to the most life-changing decisions we’ll ever make, are unconsciously driven by a few molecules in our brain. How does love begin? How can two strangers come to the conclusion that it would not only be pleasant to share their lives, but that they must share them? How can a man say he loves his wife, yet still cheat on her? Why do others stay in relationships even after the romance fades? How is it possible to fall in love with the “wrong” person? How do people come to have a “type”? Physical attraction, jealousy, infidelity, mother-infant bonding—all the behaviors that so often leave us befuddled—are now being teased out of the fog of mystery thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander explain how those findings apply to you. Drawing on real human stories and research from labs around the world, The Chemistry Between Us is a bold attempt to create a “grand unified theory” of love. Some of the mind-blowing insights include:
Love can get such a grip on us because it is, literally, an addiction. To a woman falling in love, a man is like her baby. Why it’s false to say society makes gender, and how it’s possible to have the body of one gender and the brain of another.
Why some people are more likely to cheat than others. Why we sometimes truly can’t resist temptation. Young and Alexander place their revelations into historical, political, and social contexts. In the process, they touch on everything from gay marriage to why single-mother households might not be good for society. The Chemistry Between Us offers powerful insights into love, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and family life that will prove to be enlightening, controversial, and thought provoking.
9 Signs There’s Serious Chemistry Between You And Your Partner
Chemistry and Attraction: When It's Healthy and When It's Not
Chemistry is an important part of all romantic relationships. But how do you know if a man and a woman have chemistry? A Relationship Epiphany. There are a few signs which indicate there is good chemistry between a man and a woman. However, there is one caveat which should not be ignored and that is the infatuation phase of a new relationship. Romantic weekend dates or getaways are planned and sex is spontaneous and off the charts! At that point, they start to relax and feel safe enough to be themselves without the fear of their mate automatically walking away.
"Romantic chemistry is an effortless attraction between two people that can feel magnetic and addictive," says relationship and dating expert.
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It's when you feel that irrepressible tug, the curious magnetic pull drawing you toward another person with such a ferocious intensity; it feels almost beyond the realm of your own self-control. It's the seductive sensation that sensually sweeps itself across our cores when our gaze meets another gaze from across a room. It's the unexpected display of awe-inducing fireworks exploding across the surface of our hearts when we are suddenly filled with a blooming desire to taste the lips of a blind date before we've even had the opportunity to exchange words with this person.
We know chemistry when we feel it with another person, but we don't always know why we're drawn to one person over another. Is it just a cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones conspiring to rush you toward reproduction? Is it attraction borne of a set of shared values? Or is it bonding over specific experiences that create intimacy? It's probably a combination of all three, plus ineffable qualities that even matchmaking services can't perfectly nail down. It's nature and nurture," Nicole Prause, a sexual psychophysiologist and neuroscientist, tells Mental Floss.
When individuals with healthy emotional backgrounds meet, the irresistible "love force" creates a sustainable, reciprocal and stable relationship. Codependents and emotional manipulators are similarly enveloped in a seductive dreamlike state; however, it will later unfold into a painful "seesaw" of love, pain, hope and disappointment. The soul mate of the codependent's dreams will become the emotional manipulator of their nightmares. Our eyes are the windows to the soul. When there is powerful chemistry and attraction, the eye contact is electric and blinding, as if looking into the sun. Breathing becomes rapid and shallow, or seems to stop altogether.