Doms Guide To BDSM Vol. 1: 49 Must-Know Tips On How To Be The Perfect Dom/Master Your Submissive Will Truly Respect & Admire by Matthew LaroccoMuch of what we’ve “heard” about BDSM and the lifestyle is wrong. Our opinions on this lifestyle and art form are oftentimes shaped by other people who have heard something about it and perhaps embellished it to the point of perpetuating myths. The truth is that BDSM is not degrading towards women, and it’s also a concept that you will find is not “scary.” And even the “pain” that is spoken of is not the type of pain people think it is.
This book is written for Doms/Masters in training. It is written for you, the average guy or gal, who doesn’t already have a closet full of leather and whips, and who really has little idea about what BDSM is besides what they’ve heard about it.
What you are going to find out, is that the Dom/Master actually has the more complicated role. The master has the task of giving pleasure and discipline to the slave or sub. A great deal of what you do as a Dom will be for the benefit of a sub. You must derive pleasure from giving, have a great desire to please a partner, and not simply take what you want.
Still interested? Good. Now that we know you’re a REAL master in training, one that will respect the rules, respect the slave you have power over, and follow protocol, you can begin your Dom training. Only then can you truly earn the utmost respect and admiration from your sub.
In Volume 1 of this series we are going to discuss:
- How to think and act like a Dom
- What the slave expects from you
- What not to do and what instincts you do NOT want to follow
- Your motivation and your goals
- How to find out a sub’s taboo
- How to negotiate, find agreement and ensure that game play is always safe
- How to make a slave yearn for you and desire to be controlled by you
- And much more...
How to be a Dom: Orders and Rules
So as a sex expert myself, I want to make sure you understand the philosophy of sexual dominance so you can not only fill the role of a dominant in your relationship…. Being dominant in bed has added a lot of excitement to my sex life — and it can add excitement to yours as well. Around 17 percent of women reported trying bondage. And a survey conducted by Durex reports that 36 percent of adults in the United States use masks, blindfolds, and bondage tools during sex, compared to 20 percent worldwide. The main reason most women want to be dominated is cultural.
Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe. Geier, via Wikimedia Commons. Q I'm 21 years old and in a monogamous relationship. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and it was a really great experience. However, he revealed fairly early on that he also enjoys being submissive during sex.
Takeaway: Use your powers as a Dominant for good! The first time I ever found myself in a bedroom, surrounded by rope and in the presence of a willing girl, I will confess I let the moment go to my head. I was 20 years old, she was eager to please, and I had absolutely zero experience with neither rope play , nor acting like someone who was supposed to be "in control" of a kinky situation. As such, we spent very little time talking about scenes and expectations, and plenty of time getting hot and bothered by the prospect of playing master and slave. Or in the case of my mind, kidnapper and victim.
Plus: tips for dealing with blow job bestowers, when vaginal sex is a big nothing. How do I become more comfortable with being a dom?.
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Plus: tips for dealing with blow job bestowers, when vaginal sex is a big nothing
One of the most common topics dominant men want to talk to me about are the rules for their submissive, more specifically what rules to create, what rules to avoid, and how to enforce them. Some of these rules are inherent to the dynamic, while the others are enforced as a reaction to it. I am a proponent of honest dynamics. What I mean by this is I, personally, am only interested in truly honest reactions and interactions with a sub. The more information you have, the more able you will be to accomplish this, and the greatest source of information from your sub will always be interactions, honest to the core. This mentality is in direct conflict with one of the most common rules enforced by Doms new and old: forcing your sub to always refer to you as Sir Master, Lord… whatever. My honest interaction mentality is my absolute number one rule.