Much Ado About Nothing by William ShakespeareMuch Ado About Nothing, abridged.
CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?
HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!
BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.
BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you weren’t such a cynical bitch all the time.
BEATRICE: Fuck you.
BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.
*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*
DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Let’s make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!
EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!
PRINCE JOHN: So, I think I’m going to break up Claudio and Hero.
BORACHIO: Really? That’s your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?
PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I don’t like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, so…wait. Okay, so it’s actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But it’s the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!
BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!
BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.
BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.
CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.
DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that he’s a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Hero’s side of the story.
CLAUDIO: Hero, you’re a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!
PRIEST: Great job, now Hero’s dead from sad.
CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!
HERO: Pysche! I’m really okay!
BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priest’s idea to fake a girl’s death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.
BENEDICK: Hey, that’s pretty funny. You know, I guess you’re not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.
BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.
ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!
Love's Labour's Won School Synopsis
Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in and , as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. The play was included in the First Folio , published in By means of "noting" which, in Shakespeare's day, sounded similar to "nothing" as in the play's title,   and which means gossip, rumour, and overhearing , Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar on the erroneous belief that she has been unfaithful. At the end, Benedick and Beatrice join forces to set things right, and the others join in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. In Messina , a messenger brings news that Don Pedro, a prince from Aragon , will return that night from a successful battle, Claudio being among his soldiers.
Much Ado About Nothing was probably created in The play is not mentioned by Francis Meres in Palladis Tamia , published in The quarto edition of names the comic actor William Kemp in some of the speech headings intended for the character Dogberry. The only surviving records for early performances are the payments made by the Lord Chamberlain to John Heminge in May for presenting several plays, including Much Ado About Nothing , for Princess Elizabeth daughter of James I and Frederick, Elector Palatine, who were married that year. Shakespeare wrote the part of Dogberry for the comic actor William Kemp. British Library copies of Much Ado About Nothing contains detailed bibliographic descriptions of all the quarto copies of the play. Act 1 Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, and his followers arrive at the house of Leonato, Governor of Messina on their way home from the wars.
Creation of the play
The war is over. Claudio falls in love with Hero and their marriage is agreed upon. Beatrice and Benedick despise love and engage in comic banter. The others plot to make them fall in love with each other, by a trick in which Benedick will overhear his friends talking of Beatrice's supposed secret love for him, and vice versa. Meanwhile Don John, the prince's misanthropic illegitimate brother, contrives a more malicious plot with the assistance of his follower Borachio: Claudio is led to believe that he has witnessed Hero in a compromising situation on the night before her wedding day — in fact it is her maid Margaret with Borachio.